Inner Inventory

There are places we can return to in order to conduct an inner inventory. They let us look inside and ask important questions:

🔍 What has changed in us?

🔍 What has remained a point of support?

🔍 What in us never changes?

🔍 Where do we get our delight and inner spark?

❇️ DUSTING ❇️

Sometimes inner inventory resembles wiping away dust. In the outer world we know exactly what dust is: something that gets in the way, while crystal is something to protect. We have an objective picture — remove the dust, leave the crystal. Inside, things are much more difficult. There are no obvious categories, and rationalizations or defense mechanisms may whisper that the dust is something valuable and should not be touched. That is precisely the difficulty: recognizing what truly matters and what is only a temporary accretion in our inner world.

This work begins with small things. Maslow writes:

“People who reached self-actualization did so step by step: they listened to their inner voice, they were responsible and honest with themselves and others, and they worked hard. They came to know themselves, understood what they were and what they represented — not only in some lofty sense, but in the simplest everyday one: they learned that their feet hurt in certain shoes, whether they liked eggplant, and how much beer they could drink and still remain standing all evening. This is what a human being is. These people came to know themselves as biological beings; they understood what nature had given them and what was impossible, or very difficult, to change.”

Maslow caught something exactly right: self-actualization is not a perfect life but a deep knowledge of oneself. It matters to ask: what am I absolutely unwilling to give up? A common mistake is a sterile approach to inventory, when instead of carefully distinguishing crystal from dust, everything gets scrubbed away. You can hear it in psychologists who announce that someone is “fully worked through” 🤭. Apparently those 500 hours of psychoanalysis polished him so thoroughly that he became transparent as glass. Well... “A puffed-up figure — like a glass rooster” 🎶

As Zarathustra might put it: “Learn to distinguish inventory from sterilization.” Sterility is dangerous because along with what is unnecessary, you can lose your otherness.

For me, Vyborg is my otherness. It is a place where the “North Wind” blows — a symbol of connection with an inner foundation. A day off at GAF... and I am young... and every morning formation, every cadet standing in uniform...
I will never give up that image.

❇️ SCRAPING OFF SCALE ❇️

But there is a more difficult kind of inventory — like removing scale and burnt-on residue. This is work with deeper structures: character patterns, trauma, stable behavioral templates. It takes effort and time. Imagine that you are a diligent homemaker slowly and persistently scrubbing a burnt pot. Layer by layer, the residue becomes thinner. There is symbolism in that too: the soot testifies to a powerful fire that once cooked something substantial.

As James Bugental writes:

“To ‘reduce’ is not the same as to destroy. Such basic patterns — often called ‘character’ patterns — are rarely eliminated completely through psychotherapy. Rather, the patient begins to see how the pattern functions; but beyond that, the patient sees so much more that the pattern no longer takes him prisoner. This wider view of oneself is the essence of psychotherapeutic change, improved functioning in life, and increased satisfaction.”

❇️ BREATHING FREELY ❇️

When you regularly wipe away dust, and also work steadily at reducing the burnt-on residue, a sense of freedom and inner cleanliness appears — but not sterility. As Oxxxymiron puts it:

“Sold everything off, cleared the mezzanine,
the attic too, plus a full renovation,
started breathing freely, but all around — the same old Gotham...” 🎶

And if even a tiny part of that residue can be removed, then... well, that is already the subject of the next post. 🫡 For now, drop by our 🔗mad little tavern🔗 more often!

How do you conduct your inner inventory? Which places help you look inside yourself? Share your thoughts in the comments! 💬👇

#InnerInventory #SelfKnowledge #Vyborg

---

Sources

1. Maslow, A. The Farther Reaches of Human Nature. St. Petersburg: Piter, 2021. 448 p.

2. Bugental, J. The Art of the Psychotherapist. St. Petersburg: Piter, 2001. 304 p. ISBN 5-272-00297-0.

All phrases, references, and verbal turns taken from tracks are marked with 🎶.
Their use is intended as a gesture of respect toward the artists. I wonder how many tracks you will recognize from these Easter eggs...

---

Join the discussion on Telegram! 💬