What does the author mean by inner reassembly?

It is an experience in which an old form of life is already dissolving while a new one has not yet acquired clear outlines. Much may look unchanged from the outside, yet the person physically and emotionally senses a change in how they live and understand themselves.

How did the image help express this state?

The author applied a disintegration effect in Photoshop not as a technical demonstration, but to give form to an experience. The image became a symbol of an old structure breaking apart while something new emerged.

Why is the visual experiment compared to art therapy?

The similarity lies in moving an inner process into an external image. In the text this is a personal analogy, not a therapeutic protocol: the image made it possible to see and hold something that ordinary words could not easily express.

Rewriting the Final Draft

Forgive me, the pages in the book of my fate have long grown worn.
The title page is covered in writing, the meaning of the illustration has faded.
No paragraphs remain intact; the ex libris peels away from the endpaper.
The sheets have been torn out with flesh — turn them at your own risk.

And you will understand how everything has changed, from the letters to
the printing ink — the original style can no longer be seen.
The pages in the book of my fate have long grown worn,
because I am rewriting the final draft.

— Oxxxymiron“In the Book Everything Was Different”, Round 4, 17ib

Addendum from 07.02.2026.

This fragment kept circling in my head at the beginning of 2020 — not merely as a quotation, but as an exact description of my inner state.
There was a feeling that something had already changed, even though outwardly life continued as usual.

February.
The dorm.
The route through the park to Fitness House by Pionerskaya.
Whole days of training, returning along the same route, sometimes stopping in the park with a book and a camping chair brought from the dorm.
Music in my headphones — the same track over and over again.

The world would soon be hit by COVID, but all of that was external. Back then there was a very clear bodily feeling: something was falling apart and assembling itself anew at the same time.
Not a crisis — more like a reassembly. The aftereffect of a powerful experience that happened at the very beginning of the year

About this image

I remember this image especially clearly. At the time it was a visual experiment — my first conscious attempt to work with a disintegration effect in Photoshop. I spent a long time on it, not so much technically as by feel, trying to catch and bring outward the state I was in. Now I can see clearly that this image became a symbol of my inner process — the disintegration of an old form and the simultaneous birth of something new.

In essence, it was very similar to how art therapy or sand therapy works: we depict not what is “beautiful” or “correct”, but what is actually happening inside. The disintegration effect felt convincing not because I knew Photoshop well, but because I was living that state in my body and emotions. The image simply emerged — the way inner processes emerge when they are given form.